the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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