How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
