No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
