I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize