I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
