I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
