Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
