Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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