She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just had sex on a roof
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
