The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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