Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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