Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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