yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
