im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
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