i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
