she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
