I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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