we have pet lesbian snakes
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
