i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
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