your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
areolas are like halos for boobs.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize