i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
