Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
