It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
My vagina is officially offended.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
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