so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
