I'm drive I can fine osifer
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
