you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Randomize
