nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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