We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
