My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
