in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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