Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
