brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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