I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
