They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
