Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
