Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize