all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
