i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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