Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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