Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
