I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
