come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
