Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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