The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
he shaved USA in his pubs
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
