she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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