The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
