The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
