i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
