id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
