Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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