I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
