and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
