A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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