you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
