just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
