At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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