Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Randomize
